{"id":1227,"date":"2006-05-28T18:47:57","date_gmt":"2006-05-28T18:47:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=1227"},"modified":"2006-05-28T18:47:57","modified_gmt":"2006-05-28T18:47:57","slug":"fountain_of_you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=1227","title":{"rendered":"Fountain Of Youth"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m beginning to suspect that my wheelchair has magical age-combatting properties.  I was ordering a beer yesterday when the server, no doubt a well-meaning and conscientious lad, asked me, “You sure you’re old enough?”  I desperately wanted to reply, “Sonny, I was drinking beer when you were still fascinated by your own boogers.  Now run along and get me my damn drink.”  But I simply smiled politely and nodded.  Throughout my whole life, strangers have tended to assume I’m younger than my actual age.  Perhaps it’s because of my small stature or my lack of a deep, manly voice.  I suppose this perception of me could come in handy as I get older, but I still find it annoying at present.  Maybe I’m destined to be a gimpy version of Bob Costas, looking eternally young even when I’m in my dotage. <\/DIV><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m beginning to suspect that my wheelchair has magical age-combatting properties.  I was ordering a beer yesterday when the server, no doubt a well-meaning and conscientious lad, asked me, “You sure you’re old enough?”  I desperately wanted to reply, “Sonny, I was drinking beer when you were still fascinated by your own boogers.  Now run […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-1-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Iwau-jN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}