{"id":1537,"date":"2007-04-04T20:35:19","date_gmt":"2007-04-04T20:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=1537"},"modified":"2007-04-04T20:35:19","modified_gmt":"2007-04-04T20:35:19","slug":"my_safe_word_is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=1537","title":{"rendered":"My Safe Word Is “Spongecake”"},"content":{"rendered":"

My friend has informed me that the only way we’re getting tickets to the sold-out Amy Winehouse<\/a> concert at the Varsity is to sell me into sexual slavery. *sigh* I guess I’ll have to dig out the ball gag and sailor outfit again. But there are some things I refuse to do. I pimped myself out before for concert tickets and the sight of a garden hose still gives me night terrors. But maybe I’ll get front-row tickets for my efforts and Amy and I will get into a full-on brawl in the middle of her set. She can probably take me, but I fight dirty. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friend has informed me that the only way we’re getting tickets to the sold-out Amy Winehouse concert at the Varsity is to sell me into sexual slavery. *sigh* I guess I’ll have to dig out the ball gag and sailor outfit again. But there are some things I refuse to do. I pimped myself […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-1-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Iwau-oN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1537\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}