{"id":2001,"date":"2008-07-21T20:14:21","date_gmt":"2008-07-21T20:14:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=2001"},"modified":"2008-07-21T20:14:21","modified_gmt":"2008-07-21T20:14:21","slug":"when_pigs_fly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=2001","title":{"rendered":"When Pigs Fly"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Before I go any further, let me get one thing straight. I like my life just fine. In fact, things have turned out a lot better than I ever thought they could. Having said that, I&#8217;m also someone with an imagination. If I woke up tomorrow morning and discovered that my DNA had somehow patched itself and I was just another able-bodied dude, these are the five things I would want to do first: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Eat a cherry. I choked on one of these as a kid and never touched them again. <\/li>\n<li>Learn to drive. It can&#8217;t be as complicated as it looks. <\/li>\n<li>Get a tan on both my front <i>and<\/i> back.<\/li>\n<li>Backpack alone across Europe. <\/li>\n<li>How to put this delicately. Rhymes with &#8220;faster rate&#8221;. Actually, this one might have to go to the top of the list.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Before I go any further, let me get one thing straight. I like my life just fine. In fact, things have turned out a lot better than I ever thought they could. Having said that, I&#8217;m also someone with an imagination. If I woke up tomorrow morning and discovered that my DNA had somehow patched <a href='https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=2001' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-1-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Iwau-wh","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2001"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2001\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}