{"id":2966,"date":"2011-06-27T19:47:49","date_gmt":"2011-06-27T19:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=2966"},"modified":"2011-06-27T19:47:49","modified_gmt":"2011-06-27T19:47:49","slug":"unsolicited","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=2966","title":{"rendered":"Unsolicited"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was sitting in my office this afternoon, minding my own business, when I received an e-mail from the state’s GOP legislative leaders<\/a>. It addressed me as “Valued State Employee”, which made me immediately suspect that this was some kind of prank. The rest of the e-mail went on to say that, gosh, they really didn’t want a shutdown to happen and that none of us would be in this mess if the governor would just cave and sign the GOP’s all-cuts budget. Then there was something about “hostage taking” and kitchen tables, but I was already moving the cursor to the “Delete” icon.<\/p>\n

I don’t mind skimming the GOP talking points on the web, but I really don’t need an e-mail from them reminding me that I’m just another pawn on the board. Yes, the governor has e-mailed me as well, but:<\/p>\n

(a) he’s my boss; and
(b) his e-mail scored far lower on the Blatant Pandering scale.  <\/p>\n

Anyway, here’s my response:<\/p>\n

Dear GOP Leadership: <\/p>\n

Thank you for your concern about a possible interruption of my paycheck in the near future. I share your concern and would like to continue receiving a paycheck. You have no idea how much restraint I’ve exercised in the past month to refrain from purchasing various comics, computer games, and some really choice vintage erotica I found on Craigslist over the weekend. But I would also like to avoid fucking over poor people who need health care and housing. <\/p>\n

Therefore, I must respectfully request that you direct all future communications to my superior, Governor Mark Dayton. He gets paid to tolerate your canned pontificating. I don’t. <\/p>\n

Sincerely, <\/p>\n

Your Valued State Employee <\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was sitting in my office this afternoon, minding my own business, when I received an e-mail from the state’s GOP legislative leaders. It addressed me as “Valued State Employee”, which made me immediately suspect that this was some kind of prank. The rest of the e-mail went on to say that, gosh, they really […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-1-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Iwau-LQ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2966","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2966"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2966\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2966"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2966"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2966"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}