{"id":3275,"date":"2012-05-02T19:54:27","date_gmt":"2012-05-03T00:54:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=3275"},"modified":"2012-05-02T19:54:27","modified_gmt":"2012-05-03T00:54:27","slug":"crash-diet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=3275","title":{"rendered":"Crash Diet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Stephen Colbert reports on the latest diet fad for brides-to-be: stuffing a feeding tube down the nose and feeding oneself a liquid protein substance for several days.<\/p>\n<div style=\"background-color:#000000;width:520px;\">\n<div style=\"padding:4px;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/media.mtvnservices.com\/embed\/mgid:cms:video:colbertnation.com:413206\" width=\"512\" height=\"288\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;\"><b>The Colbert Report<\/b> <br \/>Get More: <a href='http:\/\/www.colbertnation.com\/full-episodes\/'>Colbert Report Full Episodes<\/a>,<a href='http:\/\/www.indecisionforever.com\/'>Political Humor &#038; Satire Blog<\/a>,<a href='http:\/\/www.colbertnation.com\/video'>Video Archive<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>As someone with more than a passing familiarity with nasal feeding tubes, I can confidently opine that anyone willing to resort to such measures just to lose a few pounds before her wedding day is destined to wake up one day to the realization that her marriage is a loveless sham and that her children despise her. When my doctors informed me that they would be cutting a permanent hole in my stomach for a feeding tube, I was actually relieved because I would finally be rid of that uncomfortable piece of plastic jammed up my nostril that constantly tickled the back of my throat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stephen Colbert reports on the latest diet fad for brides-to-be: stuffing a feeding tube down the nose and feeding oneself a liquid protein substance for several days. The Colbert Report Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor &#038; Satire Blog,Video Archive As someone with more than a passing familiarity with nasal feeding tubes, I can <a href='https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/?p=3275' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous","category-16-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9Iwau-QP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3275"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3276,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275\/revisions\/3276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the19thfloor.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}