Here’s video from a demonstration of a neckband that translates nerve impulses into speech. It only recognizes about 150 words and it doesn’t offer the same responsiveness of the human larynx, but the designers are optimistic that a version for patients with ALS will be ready by the end of the year. If the neckband can be miniaturized to a small patch, I’d consider using something like this for phone conversations and presentations. And it better be programmable so I can make myself sound like Alec Guinness or Laurence Fishburne.
I’m orientating a new nurse this afternoon and I’m trying to come up with a list of things to cover with her. Here’s what I have so far:
- My hearing substantially diminishes when I’m on the computer.
- Don’t touch the hair unless specifically instructed otherwise.
- When we’re out and about, point out all women in fishnet stockings.
- I get crabby when the Pringles run out.
- You will be considered a veteran once you have mastered my remote control.
- You will crash my chair into walls and other inanimate objects. Accept this because I already have.
- Turning off the ventilator is the quickest way to shut me up.
Did I miss anything?
My grandmother passed away a couple days ago and the funeral was today at the same cemetery where we buried my grandfather nearly twenty-five years ago. I chatted with relatives I hadn’t seen in several years and learned via the rabbi’s eulogy that my grandmother had cared for a younger brother who had died young. I had never heard this bit of family history before today and it led me to imagine my grandmother’s life as a young woman, something I had never really considered before. She would have been a teenager during the Depression. The world she left is in so many ways a radically different place than the one into which she was born. And I’m here to experience it because of her.
I neglected to mention in yesterday’s post that Spitzer’s successor, David Paterson, is legally blind. The media keeps making reference to the fact that he doesn’t use a cane or a guide dog. If he put on a pair of dark glasses, would that convince them that he is really is blind? Maybe some reporter should drop a pin at Paterson’s first press conference, just to make sure he really has the super-sensitive hearing that we know is a universal trait shared by all blind people on the planet.
I’m not a New Yorker, but Spitzer had impressed me during his time as Attorney General. He seemed to possess a genuine passion for combating corruption among powerful business interests; an uncommon virtue among politicians. I recall reading a profile of Spitzer in the New Yorker not long ago which portrayed him as less effective as governor, but I still thought it likely that he would eventually make his way to the national stage. The actions leading to his swift fall from grace exemplify the kind of mental compartmentalization that is the downfall of so many men in the public eye. How else does someone prosecute prostitution rings while at the same time availing oneself of a prostitute’s services and not lie awake at night feeling like a schmuck? Spitzer’s decision to pay for sex is a private matter that shouldn’t have any bearing on his ability to serve the public. His own blatant hypocrisy provided the fatal blow to his career.
Here’s the entry for “observed” from the Apple thesaurus:
I observed this wheelchair dude in the vestibule waiting for me.
Gizmodo wants to know the identity of “wheelchair dude”. Well, it’s me and I was sitting in that vestibule for ages. I keep telling people to call ahead if they’re going to be late. It’s not as if I enjoy hanging around in vestibules. If I’m going to wait for someone, I’d much rather do it in a foyer or antechamber.
I got home about a little while ago and learned that my parents are on their way here. My grandmother’s health has been declining and she has taken a turn for the worse in the last twenty-four hours. We were never close, but she always showed concern for me through the years. When I first moved to Minnesota, she would frequently call my nurses on winter days to make sure I dressed warmly when I went outside. And I now all I can do is hope that whatever time she has remaining is spent in peace and comfort.
A deaf British couple wants to have a deaf child via in vitro fertilization. However, a pending bill in Parliament would require fertilization clinics to discard all embryos found to have genes for deafness. Of course, the deaf community is up in arms, accusing the government of implying that deaf people are better off not being born. And it’s hard to disagree with that charge. I’m curious: what other genetic markers are included in the bill’s mandate for automatic disposal? Blindness? Cystic fibrosis? I don’t have a problem with parents choosing which embryos to keep and which to discard, but this bill veers uncomfortably close to government-enforced eugenics.
In the long run, qualms such as mine might be moot. We are approaching a point when genetic manipulation of embryos will be readily available, despite government efforts to impose regulatory controls. As with most things in life, the wealthy will have an easier time accessing these services, while potential parents from more modest economic means will have to take their chances with old-fashioned procreation.
The UK government has announced an Independent Living Strategy that incorporates several strategies to give its citizens with disabilities more opportunities to live and work in the community. The Guardian interviews several policy experts for their reactions. I’m glad to see the government emphasizing consumer direction as part of its strategy, but also hope this doesn’t become another program that is highly touted at first and quickly loses momentum for want of sustained attention and follow-through.
My social calendar has been filling up with plenty of man-dates lately. I’m turning into a serial man-dater. Don’t get me wrong, I like the popularity. But I’m feeling the need to brush up on my inter-gender communication skills. Ladies, now’s your chance to experience The 19th Floor in its live format. Free drinks will be served. E-mail me to reserve your spot now.
