New Scientist has news of a wheelchair under development that can be controlled by measuring brain impulses sent to the larynx. The user simply has to think the word “forward” and the chair moves forward. I dare you to watch the embedded video of the chair in action and not be at least a little impressed. The neckband looks a little uncomfortable, especially for those of us with trachs and ventilator tubing in the near vicinity, but I’m sure that can be miniaturized before too long. This technology seems like it could be adapted for other uses. I’d love to be able type these blog entries just by thinking of the words.

On the other hand, I can also think of hazards that might accompany such an interface. Imagine: you’re in your tricked-out wheelchair, cruising down the sidewalk, when the lyrics to Jesus Jones’ “Right Here, Right Now” pop into your head. And off you go into oncoming traffic.

I see that my arch-nemesis, Stephen Hawking, has published the first in a series of children’s science fiction books. The man will do anything for a bit of good PR. To the children of the world: Dr. Hawking is not a nice man. During our last phone conversation to finalize the details of our zero-g deathmatch, he threatened to do things with my corpse that even the Dark Lord himself would consider beyond the pale. But for a man of such bravado, he seems to have no problem coming up with excuses to delay our face-off. “I have to papers to grade.” “I have relatives coming in from out of town.” I suppose the next time I talk to him, it will be “I have to finish my book tour.” Coward.

I’m recovering from post-State Fair fatigue. Note to self: in the future, it’s probably a good idea to avoid going to the Fair on the last Sunday before Labor Day, especially when it’s hot and an odious melange of fried grease, sweat, and livestock flatulence permeates the whole place. But I still go once every year because I get a kick out of playing “Spot the Abusive Relationships” and eavesdropping on the profanity-laced conversations of others. It’s enough to re-affirm my faith in the basic goodness and decency of humanity. 

If you happen to be in Minneapolis on Sunday, September 23rd, consider attending the VSA arts of Minnesota Autumn Silent Auction. VSA is local non-profit that promotes access to the arts for people with disabilities. I sit on its Board of Directors and this is our third silent auction event. There will be plenty of interesting items to bid on, like original artwork, theater tickets, gift certificates to restaurants, etc. And there will be plenty of food and drink to keep you happy while you empty your wallet in support of a good cause.

Here’s the vital information:

VSA arts of Minnesota Autumn Silent Auction
Sunday, September 23rd, 2:00-5:00 p.m.
12th Floor of Macy’s, 700 Nicollet Mall, Downtown Minneapolis
Tickets: $30 apiece if purchased before September 18; $35 after September 18

You can order tickets on-line or through me. All proceeds benefit VSA. You’ll have a good time, I promise. And when have I ever disappointed you?

This week’s City Pages includes a feature profile of Christopher Harmon. Christopher has a rare neurological condition that has left him deaf, legally blind, and in a wheelchair. The article details Harmon’s efforts to come to terms with the severity of his disability, as well as his aspirations to become a writer. It also describes his struggle with the county to maintain funding for the sign language interpreters who help him communicate with the rest of the world on a daily basis.

I’ve run into Christopher a few times at various functions, but I don’t have the privilege of knowing him personally. I hope he’s happy with the article; I think it’s wonderful.