Jul 192012

I’ll be taking a blogging holiday tomorrow to get an early start on my vacation to-do list. The list primarily consists of sampling the games I’ve picked up during the Steam Summer Sale, writing an introduction to the fishnets-themed coffee table book I’m assembling, and trying to make a dent in my to-read pile. I’ll likely be blogging all of next week, although posts may be somewhat abbreviated.

Enjoy the weekend.

Jul 122012

My van recently received a new side door. It still needs to be painted, which is to say that I’m currently riding around in a dark green van with a beige door. This might have bothered me at one point, but I’m pretty indifferent about it. I’m just glad the door opens and closes without a hitch, which is an improvement over the previous state of affairs.

Jul 042012

A Happy 4th of July to all of my American readers. I’m doing my best not to burn out my air conditioner before the Great Heat Wave of 2012 passes and already pining for the chill of mid-October mornings. Now, get back to that barbecue.

Jun 292012

With each passing year, I feel a little less cool when I venture into Uptown. Before long, the Hipster Police will turn me back as soon as I cross Lake Street. I’ll tell them I simply want to admire the tattooed women in their sundresses, but they’ll just shake their heads and point me to the nearest Applebee’s.

Enjoy the weekend.

May 232012

So some Scottish kid started a blog cataloging the sheer awfulness of her school lunches. And now the site is racking up millions of hits worldwide and making local bureaucrats nervous. Clearly, I don’t get this whole Internet thing anymore. Perhaps I should redesign my banner graphic or start posting pictures of puppies. Granted, the kid’s website has a clean design and the content is pretty clever.

Puppies it is, then.

May 022012

Stephen Colbert reports on the latest diet fad for brides-to-be: stuffing a feeding tube down the nose and feeding oneself a liquid protein substance for several days.

As someone with more than a passing familiarity with nasal feeding tubes, I can confidently opine that anyone willing to resort to such measures just to lose a few pounds before her wedding day is destined to wake up one day to the realization that her marriage is a loveless sham and that her children despise her. When my doctors informed me that they would be cutting a permanent hole in my stomach for a feeding tube, I was actually relieved because I would finally be rid of that uncomfortable piece of plastic jammed up my nostril that constantly tickled the back of my throat.