Enough of this tiresome McCain-Obama contest. Let’s give the third-party candidates some attention. For instance: 
President Shatner will put a food replicator in every kitchen and finally bring an end to the conflict with the Romulans. Plus, that Hasselhoff is a real looker.
I just got back from meeting a friend for beers. I should’ve quit after the sixth or seventh strawful. Anything more than ten strawfuls and I start making inappropriate comments to the wait staff. You can still see the red mark on my cheek left from the slap I received. Next time, I’ll stick with club soda.