Putting The “I” in “iPod”

“Finally,” I thought as I read about the release of the massively endowed and oh-so-very shiny iPod Classic. “Something that can hold my complete collection of Eastern European post-electro-neo-punk/emo bootlegs, which will serve as a nice soundtrack while I employ said iPod’s Coverflow function to browse through my extensive photographic library of scorching hot granny porn. I might even have room for a couple episodes of Battlestar Galactica. You know, just in case I get bored.”