Maybe They Think I’m Impossibly Handsome

Kay at The Gimp Parade has written a great post about the stares that greeted her when she ventured out for a haircut and how it affected her, even though this kind of thing should be nothing new to her. I can usually count on at least a couple stares whenever I leave home; people seem especially fascinated by the fact that I’m rocking a ventilator on the back of my chair. On most days, the stares and the looks are just one more feature of my personal landscape and they don’t earn much attention from me. But on occasion, during one of those moments of hyperawareness that I sometimes get (especially in a crowded room or some unfamiliar place), the looks I attract register more acutely. And in those moments even I, the self-styled hipster poseur whose internal irony switch is stuck permanently in the “on” position, can feel incredibly lonely and the soundtrack in my head gets all maudlin (think Death Cab for Cutie with lots of strings).

To get my groove back, I remind myself that this feeling is only temporary. Soon there will be another drink with a friend, another phone call with my brother, another lunch with a work colleague, another embrace, another kiss. It might even come from someone in this crowded room.