Same Old Same Old

The best part of The Day After Tomorrow was the tornadoes. The movie delivers some quality money shots for the twister porn enthusiast. But plot-wise, it follows the same tired structure of every other disaster movie you’ve ever seen. Millions of people are dying in this movie, but somehow this entire family survives in spite of ridiculous odds and some really bad decisions. Please. Whenever I see one of these movies about some Big Bad wiping out most of humanity, it gets me thinking about how I would do in a real apocalyptic scenario. If the power goes out, I’d pretty much be screwed. I can breathe on my own without the ventilator, but I’m not sure I could keep that up forever. And I’m not a likely candidate for tagging along with other survivors in search of a new place to start civilization. Maybe I’d be like one of those characters in the disaster movies who puts on a brave face and says, “Leave me behind. I’ll buy the rest of you some time by letting the mutant horde feast on my flesh. Now go! Save yourselves!” And some cute girl will be so moved my bravery that she’ll give me one last passionate kiss before leaving me to my doom.