We are experiencing “the muggies”, as we used to say back in Wisconsin.  My desktop weather widget says the temperature outside is ninety-nine degrees and the weather oracles are forecasting more of the same for the next days.  My decision to replace my ailing air conditioning unit a couple months ago seems rather prudent, as the old unit had a tendency to clog up with ice formations on extremely hot days such as this.  I do need to venture out later to attend a friend’s party, but otherwise I plan on watching the sidewalks buckle from the comfort of my home. 

 

People frequently ask me if I experience health difficulties because of the heat.  Actually, I’m much more comfortable in extreme heat than extreme cold.  I don’t have to worry about exposed body parts going numb and I don’t have to wear bulky layers of clothing.  The only thing I have to remind myself to do is stay hydrated.  My wheelchair, being mostly black, absorbs a ton of heat and my seating material doesn’t breathe well, especially around my back.  Accordingly, I’m liable to turn into a dry husk of a corpse if I don’t get watered now and then. 

 

I would like to take a moment to thank the Minneapolis Parks and Recreation Board for creating some of the smoothest sidewalks upon which I have ever had the pleasure of traversing.  I’m speaking specifically of the pedestrian walkway that encircles Lake Calhoun.  Most sidewalks are rather bumpy, jostling affairs that leave me in various states of discombobulation upon arriving at my destination.  Wheeling on the Lake Calhoun pathway is akin to gliding on a cushion of air–sweet, fluffy air.  Once I make my billions and purchase my private island for exclusive use of my fellow gimps (and a few select friends), all paved surfaces will be required to be similarly level. 

I always liked those scenes in science fiction movies where someone walks into a room, says, “Lights” and voila, the lights turn on.  I would sometimes dream about living in a house that would respond to my every command, a house where I could turn on the television or switch off the lights without waiting for a sibling or parent to become available.  When I started living on my own with 24-hour nursing care, that desire seemed less urgent.  After all, a nurse is always around to press a button or flip a switch whenever I ask.  However, I’m beginning to think that some sort of environmental control unit might be in order in the near future.  As much as I value my nurses, I would like to be able to fast forward my TiVo or select a chapter on a DVD without relying on someone else’s fingers.  I can do much of that on my computer, but I would like to get away from my desk once in a while and see the rest of my living room. 

 

So if you are or know someone who is an assistive technology dealer, hook me up.  If I can get a decent system for even a semi-reasonable price, I will gladly and shamelessly shill for your product on this blog.