Yesterday, one of my nurses abruptly informed me, via e-mail, that she was quitting. This came as something of a surprise to me because she has been with me for several years and I really enjoyed her presence here. And now she’s suddenly gone. I’ve been trying to figure out if I said or did something to cause this, but I think it had more to do with her personal circumstances. Over the years, dozens of nurses have drifted in and out of my life and I’ve developed close friendships with some of them. But they are here, after all, to do a job and people change jobs all the time. I’ve grown accustomed to sudden staffing changes like this, but it can still be a little jarring. Fortunately, I still have plenty of nurses and filling the gaps shouldn’t be a problem.
Balls of fire are falling from the sky in Spain. Strange. The Great Overlord of Tau Ceti VI assured me that the invasion wouldn’t begin until June or July.

My condo is usually comfortably warm during the winter, but for the past few days it’s been freezing in here. The vents are blowing out cold air and I’m not sure why. It doesn’t help that temperatures are predicted to be in the single digits for the next week. All I can do is inform the front office and hope they fix it, or I’ll else I’ll have to take refuge in the condo of my hottie neighbor. Hmmm…
So William Shatner is putting out a new album. I have MP3’s of his renditions of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Mr. Tambourine Man.” His interpretations are…dramatic, I guess. You really have to check them out to see what I mean. Just be prepared to wash the taste of ham out of your mouth after listening to them.

Happy New Year! Last night, I finally watched Seabiscuit (typical underdog sports movie, but still fun) and I caught some of the Twilight Zone marathon. I horrified my nurse by being able to identify an episode within 3-5 seconds of its beginning. But it was the one with Burgess Meredith as the last bibliophile on Earth, my favorite. But I never understood why his character would have such a philistine for a wife. I also saw the one with William Shattner as a freaked-out passenger on a plane. I’m sorry, but the monster in that episode isn’t terribly scary. It looks like a refugee from a plushie convention.
My sister is leaving in a few days for Paris to study abroad for a semester. Any tips on what she should see/do while she is there? My goal is still to go there myself, but I don’t think I have the finances right now. Maybe after I get my first book deal.

Christopher Reeve annoys me. In fact, Christopher Reeve annoys a lot of people with disabilities. This essay critical of him made me laugh. It’s crude but honest and to-the-point. A few years ago, a local nonprofit rehabilitation center paid Reeve an ungodly amount to come to Minneapolis to accept one of its annual awards given to people with disabilities. This move caused quite an uproar within the disability community here because many felt that Reeve spent too much time advocating for increased research funding (more specifically, a cure for spinal cord injuries) rather than advocating for the services and supports that people with disabilities need in their daily lives. It’s safe to assume that Reeve’s philanthropy probably extends no further than his own self-interest. That doesn’t really bother me. What bothers me is that lots of people view him as a spokesman for all things disability-related. There are many people out there who are passionate and eloquent champions of disability rights, but Reeve gets all the attention because he’s an actor. And not even a terribly good one at that. I do hope Reeve finds the cure he’s looking for, but I also wish he’d be a little more honest about his motives and a little more open to dialog with the rest of the disability community.
Have you hidden your almanac yet? I committed mine to memory and then ate it. And someday, after every almanac has been burned, I’ll recount the whole thing to a new generation of knowledge-hungry subversives. It will be just like Fahrenheit 451, except really, really boring.

I will never say anything derogatory about the Arizona Cardinals or their fans ever again. For my beloved Packers to make the playoffs, the Minnesota Vikings had to lose to the Cardinals. An unlikely scenario at best. But somehow, the Cardinals pulled it off in the last seconds of the game. In all my years of watching football, I don’t remember a more unlikely finish. Right now, Vikings fans all across Minnesota are plotting elaborate revenge scenarios against the referees who ruled that the Cardinals receiver was forced out of bounds. The universe is a strange and quirky place.
I just watched Michael Jackson being interviewed on 60 Minutes. My favorite part: when he turned to his nurse/aide/whatever and whined in his best man-bitch tone “What time is it? I’m hurting.” My nurse and I must have laughed our asses off for the next ten minutes. I think that’s how I’ll start speaking to my staff.