I haven’t read any of Texas author Kinky Friedman’s mystery novels, but I was browsing books on-line yesterday when the cover for his 2004 The Prisoner of Vandam Street caught my eye:

Take away the cowboy hat and cigarette and it kind of looks like me.

Note to self: if I find myself in front of a judge facing serious prison time, don’t try using the pity-me-I’m-a-poor-cripple defense because the judge probably won’t buy it. A Minnesota man with quadriplegia recently learned this harsh lesson when a federal judge recently sentenced him to five years plus change for possessing child pornography. The judge ruled out home confinement for the man because it wouldn’t be sufficient punishment and I can’t disagree with that sentiment. But I can’t imagine he will get the same level of care he received at home.

I’m not sure how well I would adjust to prison life. Maybe I’d be the jailhouse lawyer; the guy everyone comes to when they need help writing a letter to the warden or parole board. But whatever I earned in cigarettes would probably have to go to the hired muscle protecting my…er…honor.

I’d better make sure I don’t have any unpaid parking tickets.

Thanks to Rose for the tip.

Now that the latest iPhone model includes voice control, I’m inching away from “That’s a mildly interesting device,” and closer to “Hmm, I might like one of those myself.” I’ll probably wait for reviews to learn how well the voice control actually works. I’m hoping the recognition algorithm has enough flexibility to accommodate the quirks of my gimpy accent. Back-of-the-throat consonants like “guh” and “kuh” are a little tricky for me and, when I’m feeling lazy, I sometimes drop them. But as long as I don’t have to call too many people named Gavin or Coco, I might be okay. 

First, the important stuff. I fixed the link to the picture in yesterday’s post. Scroll down and get your puppy fix.

And according to the Times, I’m way overdue on abandoning my blog. Apparently, one should consider giving up this hobby if one doesn’t land a book deal or cultivate a devoted and readership. I’d be lying if I didn’t have similar dreams back when I started doing this back in 2002, otherwise known as the Internet’s Cambrian Era. But now it’s become habit. It’s weird; I’m not nearly as rigorous about anything else in my life. Just ask the first draft of the novel sitting on my hard drive; the one slowly dying of neglect. And if I stopped doing this, I’d most likely start talking to myself. And I’ll still be doing this even when this blog is a creaky, rheumatic corner of the Internet that never gets any visitors except for the occasional spambot or renegade artificial intelligence looking for a safe place to hide.

And just to show my appreciation for my readers–all 7 of you–here’s another picture of Mollie and one of her sisters. Mollie’s the one on the left. Or is she on the right? Whatever. Puppies!

The web is getting more Hollywood all the time. Last year, Joss Whedon made some waves with Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, the quite funny web-based musical that had geeks everywhere humming along. Now Ridley Scott is planning his own web series set in the Blade Runner universe. It’s already got a cryptic but catchy title: Purefold. Scott doesn’t own  the rights to Blade Runner or the Philip K. Dick novel on which the movie is based, so this will all be done with a wink and nod. The Tyrell Corporation will instead be called [insert vaguely ominous-sounding name for a futuristic conglomerate here] and replicants will be instead be called [insert your favorite synonym for “robots” or “clones” here]. What remains to be seen is whether the characters will spout paraphrases of William Blake poetry.

Scott plans on releasing the series under a Creative Commons license, which means that anyone can edit, mash, or otherwise play with the original video to create something new and share without fear of getting sued into oblivion. It won’t surprise me at all if the remixes are better than the original.