Ladies’ Man

For as long as I can remember, I’ve tended to have more female friends than male ones. In grade school, I hung out with the girls at recess. In college, I had female roommates and was a frequent audience for impromptu performances of “My Boyfriend Is A Total Asshole”. My professional life has largely evolved in work settings where women are in the majority. Even now, while I certainly have a few close male friends, my relationships tend to skew female.

There are probably a few explanations for this state of affairs. From an early age, I think I’ve subconsciously regarded the opposite gender as more likely to be accepting of me and less likely to be freaked out by my disability. All the time I’ve spent around nurses and teacher’s aides–two professions dominated by women–may have subtly influenced my own social affinities. And perhaps I’m just a damn fine listener and witty conversationalist.

The plethora of women in my life has prompted some strange reactions from others. I’ve been asked on more than one occasion if I’m gay. I’ll concede that I’m a sharp dresser, but I find it both amusing and a little sad that a man can’t have several female friends without his sexuality being questioned. To be sure, I’m not the world’s most eligible bachelor, but that has more to do with my own persistent anxieties and a dubious self-image (a psychoanalyst could make a career out of my neuroses).

I wonder if other men with disabilities have similar experiences. For what it’s worth, my associations with women have made me a better person–a better man. And not in a corny “getting in touch with my feminine side” sort of way. I would not be the person I am now without the encouragement, tutelage, and pure grace of the women who have passed through my life.