May 122007
I have a few requests for the creative forces who are currently remastering the original Star Trek episodes:
- Please digitally wipe that perpetual I’m-so-getting-laid-tonight smirk off of Kirk’s face.
- You know that “Mirror, Mirror” episode where we meet Evil Spock? Maybe you could give Evil Spock a few scars or something because that goatee is about as menacing as Sulu in a room full of Orion slave girls.
- There has to be a way to make those tribbles look more like exotic, cuddly pets and less like roadkill.
- Maybe you could do one episode where the Enterprise is all cherried out with flames on the saucer and “USS ENTERPRISE, BITCH” written on the hull in big, obnoxious Gothic lettering.
- I will pay good money to hear Uhura say, “Captain, incoming message from Admiral Siegel.”
