Shirley MacLaine writes in her new book that a UFO paid a visit to Dennis Kucinich. And while there was no probing of body cavities, MacLaine claims that the UFO left Kucinich with marching orders:
It hovered, soundless, for 10 minutes or so, and sped away with a speed
he couldn’t comprehend. He said he felt a connection in his heart and
heard directions in his mind.
I asked my Altairian overlords about this news and they insisted they had nothing to do with it. “That guy majorly creeps us out,” they said as they finished mutilating yet another cow. They think it might’ve been the N’zzt (if it doesn’t tickle the back of your nose, you’re not pronouncing it correctly). Apparently, the N’zzt try to conquer worlds by brainwashing a prominent member of the native species and using him/her as a puppet to control the locals and pave the way for invasion. Fortunately for us, the N’zzt don’t have the greatest political instincts in the universe.
