Feb 202008
Did anyone else read the article in this
month’s Atlantic advocating that single women should quit waiting around for the
perfect guy to show up and settle for someone who makes a passable husband and
father. The author, a single mother, warns readers that the man of their dreams
doesn’t exist and that it’s preferable to settle on someone rather than become a
spinster. But she also urges women not to compromise themselves too much when
settling, bemoaning the fates of friends of hers who finally settled for men who
were feckless, immature, or alcoholic. Her ultimate thesis–which she gets to in
a roundabout manner–is that women should settle while they’re young and before
their choices are restricted to “damaged goods”.
month’s Atlantic advocating that single women should quit waiting around for the
perfect guy to show up and settle for someone who makes a passable husband and
father. The author, a single mother, warns readers that the man of their dreams
doesn’t exist and that it’s preferable to settle on someone rather than become a
spinster. But she also urges women not to compromise themselves too much when
settling, bemoaning the fates of friends of hers who finally settled for men who
were feckless, immature, or alcoholic. Her ultimate thesis–which she gets to in
a roundabout manner–is that women should settle while they’re young and before
their choices are restricted to “damaged goods”.
Romantic love is a fleeting thing and
relationships must eventually sustain themselves on something less incandescent
than passion or excitement. I get that. And I might be making assumptions based on
my own beliefs and social circle, but I thought marriage had faded as the star by which all women steered their ships. Or am I totally clueless? Is marriage and kids still the idealized pinnacle of adult life? But I’m not sure that’s what the article was saying. The impression of marriage I got from the article was of a bland but necessary business arrangement. It left me feeling sad.
relationships must eventually sustain themselves on something less incandescent
than passion or excitement. I get that. And I might be making assumptions based on
my own beliefs and social circle, but I thought marriage had faded as the star by which all women steered their ships. Or am I totally clueless? Is marriage and kids still the idealized pinnacle of adult life? But I’m not sure that’s what the article was saying. The impression of marriage I got from the article was of a bland but necessary business arrangement. It left me feeling sad.
I get so frustrated by articles that suggest women (or men) should ‘settle’ for an adequate partner because they’ll never be truly happy alone.
um, f*** that. I’d be perfectly happy to hold out for true happiness in my life, which I am perfectly capable of achieving by myself. (well, at least, I was until my fiance came around. now I’m afraid I do need him around to be happy. but that’s just the course of any relationship, like friends and family and such.)
It appears that people with an extraoridinarily high IQ go through their lives alone.
You might be one of them.
Yes, you must be one of them.
Believe me, since I have some experience in my very near surroundings.
Second thing: marriage is indeed some kind of business. People who stop “giving” to the other one – whatever form that giving may take – are often dumped these days.
sounds like (i cant be bothered with reading the article)a blooming IDIOT…
Blah. Sounds like it was written by my grandmother, who once advised me to marry my first boyfriend because “you’re a little odd, sweetie, and you might not find someone else who will understand you.”
I’m deeply ambivalent about marriage and kids. I want it, yes, but I’ve watched too many women get lost steering by that star. I guess you just keep your eyes open and live the best life you can and see what happens.