Just saw American Splendor tonight. A remarkably funny yet sad movie. I saw aspects of my own life in those of the characters. There’s a sequence where the real Harvey Pekar and his friend Toby are discussing how they cope with the loneliness in their lives. And I started to think about how I deal with my own loneliness. By reading. By watching television. By writing things like this blog. And maybe I look to my nurses too much for companionship. It’s not like I don’t have friends, but most of them have families now and I don’t see them much. When I was interviewing for new nurses this summer, I deliberately looked for people who I thought I’d like hanging out with. I went out with one of them tonight and it is nice to have people who I enjoy spending time with. But they are, after all, paid to be my friends. And this is probably how the rest of my life will be. While it’s probably not the life I would have chosen had I any say in the matter, it’s still sweet and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
