Breaking My Heart

Dear Hollywood,

Let’s get something straight. I’m not your tool. Sure, like a lot of geeks, I was excited to hear that you were planning a movie based on Isaac Asimov’s Golden Age space opera Foundation. A film that combines a cerebral tale of a galactic empire’s fall with healthy doses of eye candy would be like a big box full of awesome wrapped in win. But then you go and sign Roland Emmerich to direct it. Have you seen Roland Emmerich’s movies? All the man knows how to do is direct splashy scenes involving the destruction of famous landmarks. There’s nothing wrong with that, but letting him adapt Foundation is a little like letting an American Idol finalist sing the lead in Carmen. It’s just not a good idea.

Then I hear that some other hack is trying to pitch a sequel to Blade Runner. No, no, a thousand times no.

I’ve cut you a lot of slack over the years. The Star Wars prequels. The Matrix sequels. But I’m starting to think you’re taking me for granted. If you keep it up, you’ll leave me no choice but to avoid the cineplex until you can give me a little respect.

Sincerely,

Mark