By nature, I’m a pretty self-deprecating person. I’m constantly poking fun at myself, both in the confines of this blog and in the presence of friends and strangers alike. And I’ve tried to use it as a means to make myself seem more attractive to women. It usually seemed like an effective way to acknowledge all my oddities while also communicating that I’m generally comfortable with who I am. A new study on self-deprecatory humor confirms that it can enhance one’s attractiveness, but there’s a catch. It only works if the person mocking himself or herself already has a high social status. Here’s the conclusion of the study’s authors:
Thus, the the use of self-deprecating humor by low-status individuals
may be counter-productive, suggesting depression, defeatism,
subordination, low self-esteem, and/or low mate value. On the other
hand, if an individual has achieved high social status, they are
unlikely to have truly low conscientiousness, extraversion, or
emotional stability, and they must show reasonable agreeableness often
enough to make friends and win support. Thus, self-deprecating humor
may be a way of transiently faking inferior personally traits, to
highlight the discrepancy between the faked traits (e.g., introversion,
neuroticism) and the traits actually required to win high status.
Well, that explains why my charm offensive hasn’t met with much success over the years. I haven’t achieved a sufficient level of coolness to counteract all my self-mocking. Instead, I’ve only succeeded in confirming everyone’s impression that I am, without a doubt, a huge dork.
This calls for drastic measures. Maybe I should try emulating the strong, silent type.
Well, without the whole “strong” part.
Aaargh, there I go again. I can’t help myself.
