Dear Professor Hawking:
Felicitations and Happy New Year! I trust this message finds you in good spirits and I hope you had a pleasant holiday season. Did you receive the iTunes gift card I sent you? I know what a big Shakira fan you are.
I’m writing to suggest a slight format change for our forthcoming zero-g deathmatch (btw, how does next New Year’s Eve work for you? The promoter is bugging me to get something on the calendar.). Two words: chess boxing. It’s all the rage right now. The rules are simple. Six rounds of chess alternated with five rounds of boxing. The winner is decided by checkmate or knockout.
I have a feeling that you’re the better chess player, but I’m reasonably certain I can give you a concussion by the fourth round, thus putting us on more equal footing at the chess board. Plus, it opens up a whole new world of merchandising possibilities. Commemorative chess sets, boards, the works.
Let me know what you think. In the meantime, I’ll be brushing up on my King’s Gambit.
