The Times looks at efforts by people with disabilities in France to legalize sexual surrogacy services. France allows prostitution to a certain extent, but sexual surrogacy (the kind of sex-as-therapy service depicted in the movie The Sessions) is not allowed and the French government doesn’t seem inclined to join other European countries, like Germany and Switzerland, that have legalized the practice.
Until technology finally produces a functional and affordable sexbot, the issue of how people with disabilities can express their sexuality is going to remain fraught with emotion and controversy. It’s a subject that forces people to confront some conflicting notions about the nature of sex and love in a modern society. We want to believe that everyone can enjoy sex in the context of a relationship that is free of any commercial taint. But we also recognize that none of us is promised such a relationship. And for people with disabilities, opportunities to even seek a relationship can be rare. So, should those people with disabilities who can’t find a romantic partner be allowed access to sex workers (another marginalized population)? And if commercial sex is an acceptable option for people with disabilities, shouldn’t it be acceptable for everyone else?
As another gimp who has experienced his share of sexual frustration, I get where these activists are coming from. But I’m not sure I agree with their attempts to frame the debate in quasi-medical terms. Sex work is sex work and we do ourselves and sex workers a disservice by trying to behind the kind of medicalized language that, in other settings, provokes a lot of outrage from the disability community. We can’t duck behind the medical model when it might help us get laid. If someone wants to pay for sex, fine. I’m not sure the government should subsidize the activity for anyone, but that’s the extent of my qualms. I’m sure plenty of sex workers would be happy to see clients with disabilities without having to receive any additional training or certification.
But good on the French for having the debate. We Americans can’t seem to discuss gimp sex without a lot of nervous giggling and awkward silence.
