Behind The Scenes

Bush is in Minneapolis today, going on about the benefits of broadband Internet access. He’ll get around to universal broadband access right after he finalizes plans for a manned mission to Mars and gets Congress to vote on a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages. You see, our President is all about thinking the big ideas. Oh, and follow-through. He’s big on the follow-through. The transparency of Bush’s election-year pabulum is more than a little amusing. I imagine his speechwriters sitting around late at night, eating pizza and trying to think of any topic that has absolutely nothing to do with Iraq.
“Mars! Mars is cool!”
“Yeah! Like that movie with Val Kilmer and the guy that beat up his girlfriend.”
“What are you talking about? That movie blew! The De Palma one, now that was cool!”
“Please. We’re all descended from Martians? What kind of starry-eyed hippie crap is that? What else we got?”
“Internet access!”
“I like it, I like it. Appeals to the tech sector from a money angle and the Joe NASCARs jonesing for their porn. What else?”
“I know, I know! Gay marriage!”
“Hmm…could work. It’s got God, it’s got sex. The Bob Jones crowd will be creaming their jeans. Run with it!”