Over the weekend, I went to see a movie and the kindly old man who took our tickets looked at me, smiled his best condescending smile, and said, “Hey, you’re going to a movie! Alright! That’s real good!” I wanted to tell him, “Yes, every once in a while the facility lets me go on an outing. But I can’t wait to get back because tonight they’re serving us Jell-O with those little marshmallows in it. They even said I could pick between red or green Jell-O! And Derek–that’s my roommate–he usually doesn’t eat his dessert because on Saturday nights he likes to sit in the community room and watch the cars go by on the street outside. So maybe I can have his dessert too!”
But I didn’t say anything. Instead I smiled, nodded, and found my seat in the theater, where I proceeded to watch a movie that depicted Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello doing a sixty-nine and included graphic depictions of gangsters getting their faces blown off. I must confess, after receiving the old man’s benediction, I felt kind of dirty about sitting there and enjoying the copious amounts of on-screen sex and violence. But only for a little while.

Things I like about my new office:
– The magnetic walls (perfect for hanging copious amounts of art)
– The uncluttered (for now) look
– Having my workstation next to my door so that I can see people come in
Things I don’t like about my new office:
– The malfunctioning motion sensor that makes my lights turn off every 90 seconds
– Still no window
– The $#@%ing (but temporary) parking situation

Today’s carnage in Bali should, if nothing else, serve as another nail in the coffin of the whole WE ARE IN IRAQ TO FIGHT TERRORISM meme. Terrorism will never be stopped through military means. The only thing that brings an eventual end to terrorism are real and substantial changes in the economic and political conditions of the regions where violence flourishes. Unfortunately, that takes time and effective leadership on a global scale. I may be blindly optimistic, but I believe that someday things will get better. To believe otherwise is to give in to hopelessness and nihilism. In the meantime, we need to disabuse ourselves of the idea that the United States, through sheer brute force and the reckless expenditure of resources, can make the world a better place. It’s take a little more political deftness and sophistication, not too mention patience, to realize grand visions of peace and democracy. Too bad we’re stuck with an administration that has all the deftness of schoolyard bully.

History tends to repeat itself, even if we are sometimes slow to recognize those repetitions. The indictment of Tom DeLay in many ways echoes the scandal that surrounded Democratic Congressman Dan Rostenkowski over a decade ago. Soon after Rostenkowski’s fall, the Republicans took control of Congress. I don’t think the current ethics impairments of assorted Republicans are enough to tip the scales of power in favor of the Democrats, but it’s a start. I think people want reform. I think people want a government that is efficient, transparent, and that rewards merit instead of cronyism. But Democrats need to make reform part of a larger message that concretely addresses the everyday concerns of people. Recently, I watched a friend struggle to navigate the bureaucracy of a large HMO as he attempted to get health insurance for his kids. It’s these frustrations that Democrats not only need to speak to, but to which they can offer concrete solutions. And Democrats need to convince people that they are up to the task of leading this country.

My ten-year college reunion is next month. I’m pretty sure I won’t be going. The thought of the five-hour drive from the Twin Cities to Green Bay (and repeating it two days later) doesn’t sound too appealing to me right now. Er, not to mention that most of the events are in inaccessible locations, at least as I remember them. But perhaps I’ll leave a message on the alumni bulletin board to brag say hello. I’m thinking back to my college years and, ugh, I was such a dork. A lot of it was typical twenty-something angst and insecurity, but I was still at a phase where I was really self-conscious about my disability and I was struggling to appear as “normal” as possible. I wanted to drink and get high and get laid, but because of various external circumstances (a lack of open-minded nurses, for one) none of that happened and I remember plenty of nights sitting at home and watching television and feeling sorry for myself. Actually, I probably could have gotten laid if I had tried a little harder and shown a little more bravado instead of constantly worrying that other people saw me as a freak.
I’m not saying I have it all figured out now. But a part of me wishes I could travel back in time ten or twelve years and tell that dork to relax and have a little faith in himself.