I had my first professional massage yesterday. One of my nurses thought I might enjoy it, but I wasn’t so sure. We went to the student clinic at St. Paul College and I was fairly certain none of the students had worked with someone with a disability. It had the potential to be an awkward experience. The therapist assigned to me didn’t show any signs of being fazed, however. It became a sort of combination massage-physical therapy session. She worked on some of the muscle contractures that inevitably accompany spending so much time sitting. What surprised me most was how much I enjoyed her fingers on my neck. I didn’t realize how tight those muscles get; probably from all the time I spend writing at work and at home. I used to get PT regularly when I was in school, but I kind of let that fall by the wayside when I started working. And even though I get handled regularly by nurses, it was definitely pleasant to experience a more therapeutic style of touch. Hopefully, I’ll be able to continue seeing her on a semi-regular basis.
I scored some free tickets to the Timberwolves game tonight. Let’s hope they play better than they have in recent games.

Here’s the lesson I learned from The Sea Inside, which I saw last night. If I want to get pretty women to fall in love with me, I need to publicly declare my desire to end my life. I’ve been going about things all wrong. Enough of this trying to assimilate with the rest of able-bodied society. Starting tomorrow, I’m confining myself to my bed and I’ll begin dictating morose yet moving poetry. I’ll write letters to the editor bemoaning my tragic situation and my wish to end it all. I’ll post my writings to this blog and before long, beautiful women will be knocking down my door in their determination to give me a reason to live. I should have thought of this sooner.
I actually thought the movie was an even-handed treatment of the euthanasia issue. I used to be really critical of people with disabilities who chose suicide; it was one of the main theses of my law journal article. My views have become more nuanced over time. I don’t think it’s my place to judge another person’s quality of life. What may be tolerable for one person may be unbearable for another. I’m not advocating suicide as an acceptable solution, but I’m also increasingly wary of the indignant, self-righteous tones of some disability activists who scream bloody murder when someone decides not to live with a disability. I’d like to see a little less pontificating and a little more honest discussion. A lot of these activists seem to gloss over the genuine struggles that accompany living with a disability. We all have our personal tipping points; that point where we say, “Enough. No more.” I don’t exactly know what mine is. I don’t think any of us know. But I think it’s the height of arrogance for any of us to pretend that we know when someone has a decent quality of life. The people who tell me they’d rather die if they were in my position and the people who argue that the Terry Schiavos of the world should go on living are equally presumptuous

The big news around here has been Senator Mark Dayton’s announcement that he will not seek reelection in 2006. He made the correct decision. Dayton has never achieved much visibility since becoming Senator. He’s never seemed comfortable giving speeches or, for that matter, being in the same room with other people. I probably agree with 90% of his political views, but he lacks the ability to convey those views with any passion. He also said that he abhors fundraising, which is certainly understandable. I give him a lot of credit for making the decision this early. He must have known that the Democrats will have a difficult enough holding their ground in 2006 and that he was primed to be the Republicans’ primary target. Personally, I’d like to see Hennepin County Attorney Amy Klobuchar be the Democratic nominee. She’s intelligent, articulate, and I think she could appeal to a wide swath of Minnesota voters.

How big of a policy geek am I? I’m such a geek that I’ve been browsing through the President’s 2006 budget. One of the last things we did before leaving Washington was to meet with White House Budget Director Josh Bolton and he mentioned that lots of people would be unhappy with the proposed cuts. Many in the disability community are not likely to be happy with reductions in programs like housing for people with disabilities (cut from $238 million to $128 million) and the Office of Disability Employment Policy (from $47 million to $28 million). Bolton did say that they tried to propose cuts in programs that were not living up to performance measures, but my concern is that those measures may not take into account the time needed for some of these programs to show results. The budget does propose some interesting demonstration projects, including:
Money Follows the Person
This demonstration would use federal grant funds to pay for home and community based waiver services for individuals who transition from institutions to at-home care. Costs would be funded at a federal matching rate of 100 percent for the first year with the condition that states would agree to continue care after the first year at the regular Federal Medicaid Assistance Percentage and to reduce institutional long-term care. Over five years, $1.75 billion is authorized for this program.
Community Alternative to Children�s Residential Treatment Facilities
This demonstration would allow states to provide home- and community-based services to children who would otherwise receive care in psychiatric residential treatment facilities. This demonstration would permit the delivery of intensive mental health services for children in their homes and communities. This program would cost $5 million in FY 2006 and $99 million over five years.
Respite Program for Caregivers
Two of the demonstrations would provide respite care for caregivers of disabled children and adults. The respite program for caregivers of disabled adults would test whether respite care can lead to reductions in primary caregiver fatigue. The administration argues that such fatigue or �burn-out� can lead to institutionalization of persons with disabilities. This proposal would cost $7 million in FY 2006 and $134 million over five years. The program for caregivers of children with substantial disabilities would collect specific data about the cost and utilization of respite care services. This proposal would cost $1 million in FY 2006 and $23 million over five years.
Whether or not these initiatives go anywhere is up to Congress. I seem to remember these same proposals being offered up last year and then falling off the map. And let’s not forget that this budget doesn’t include the additional $70-80 billion to fund our presence in Iraq. Meanwhile, this Administration wants to make the recent tax cuts permanent, proving that everyone can have their cake and eat it too. Please note that “everyone” doesn’t include farmers, college students, inner-city residents, the rural poor, veterans, and people with disabilities.

My apologies to those of you who visited the site in the past couple days only to find a generic search page. Once again, my domain registration expired and once again, my hosting company failed to send me a renewal notice. I may need to consider a new hosting company because AffordableHost has never been particularly helpful.
I got back from DC late Saturday night. I had a really good time in Washington. This was kind of like the class field trip that I never went on when I was younger. I got to bond with the other fellows and I met some fascinating people; a truly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Here are a few pictures:

This, of course, is newly elected Senator Barack Obama. I was touring the Capitol with one of the Fellowship directors, former Minnesota Congressman Tim Penny, when we ran into him in the halls of the Senate. I didn’t get to talk to him very long, but he seemed every bit as charming as the media portrays him to be.

Some of us went out to dinner Wednesday night and we walked past the White House on the way back to the hotel. It was rather cold and we were all impressed that the fountain was running. Your tax dollars at work.

On Friday, we met with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Most of us later admitted that we were a little awed in her presence. She spoke at length about the arrogance she perceived in Bush’s foreign policy and how she believed that North Korea is the most dangerous nation on the planet.

On our last day, we had a tour of the West Wing of the White House. This is all of us milling about outside the gate as we waited for the guards to let us in. The White House is actually smaller than it looks on television. The Oval Office is not especially big, but it looks more like a museum display than an actual working space. I think they keep it immaculate for the benefit of the tourists, but the effect is a little unsettling.