I’m heading out soon to spend some of my tax refund. Mustn’t keep all the new toys waiting. A more detailed report may be forthcoming upon my return.
Ack, I need to get some new glasses. The “i” and the “l” on my on-screen keyboard are starting to look alarmingly similar. It’s been about seven years since I’ve had my eyes checked, so I’m probably overdue.

My friend Susannah has started a new blog to promote her novel-in-progress: Porn Happy. It features excerpts from her book and assorted links to all things carnal. Obviously, some of the material may be NSFW. Go give her some love.
If I was ambitious enough, I’d set up a separate site for my own book. Instead, you’ll have to settle for another excerpt…
I looked over my shoulder and saw Erin Chambers coming out of the library. She was pushing her walker in front of her and I saw that her hair had changed from blond with blue streaks to blond with pink streaks. “Hey, Erin. Nothing, just hanging out. What about you? I thought you were going home for the summer.”
She shook her head. “Nuh. I’m ‘aking a ‘ummer ‘lass.” She pushed the walker up to the bench and sat down next to me. She wore a floral-patterned summer dress that revealed a generous amount of cleavage. I had known Erin since she started at the U three years ago and, like most people, I at first had some trouble understanding her when she spoke to me. But unlike a lot of people with CP, Erin never showed any sign that she was embarrassed or uncomfortable with her speech impairment. She once told me that the only reason people couldn’t understand her was because they weren’t listening closely enough.
“Oh, yeah? What class?”
“‘Exual Pol’tics ‘n Moduhn Amm�American Cinema,” she said with a hint of irony.
“Uh huh. I think I’ve heard of this class. It’s just an excuse to watch porn all summer, isn’t it?”
She looked at me with her chocolate eyes like I had just uttered the most obvious statement in the history of humanity. “Why eh�else would I ‘ake it?” And then she tipped back her head and laughed that convulsive, gasping laugh that every person with CP seems to have. I’ve been at parties with Erin where people almost called 911 because they mistook her laugh for some kind of seizure.
The commotion caught the attention of the two guys playing Frisbee. They turned around and I could see their gaze linger on the swell of her breasts and her bare thighs. Erin must have noticed too, because she managed to stop laughing and give them a coy smile. “‘Ay, ‘uys!” she said. They waved back and resumed their game.
“You know them?” I asked.
“Nuh,” she said. Erin gave them another glance and shifted slightly so that her sundress rode up a little higher. “No’ yeh.”
“Slut,” I said and she gave me a playful shove. Erin had never had trouble hooking up with someone, male or female, whenever she had the urge. Which is to say that Erin got laid more times in one week than some people do all year. Her sexual adventurism had earned her an awed kind of respect from a lot of the other gimps at school, including me. A lot of us wondered how she managed to get sex whenever she wanted while the rest of us were struggling to just get a date for Friday night. Sure, she was cute and all, but it was something more than that. Somehow, in a matter of minutes, Erin was able to make people forget about her slurred speech and her walker and the occasional strand of drool hanging from her lip. All they saw was what she wanted them to see. All they saw was her brilliant smile and her streaked hair and her firm tits. I’ve gone with Erin to nightclubs and watched in disbelief as men and women crowded around her within minutes of our entrance. I felt like I was observing some Gimp Goddess of Love being worshiped by her followers.

Every two years I have my gastrostomy tube (G-tube) replaced. So today was the day. A doctor has to do it, so I went over to the U of M Endoscopy Clinic to have it done. I use a Bard button, which works well for me. It’s basically a short piece of plastic with a silicone mushroom at the end to keep it in place. It never gets yanked out accidentally, which is good. In fact, to pull it out, one needs almost superhuman strength. It’s a bit like pulling out a champagne cork. People always ask me if the procedure hurts. I can tolerate a fair amount of pain, so I’m probably not the best person to ask. On a scale of 1-10, changing a g-tube probably rates a 4-5. I’m not saying I’m the toughest cripple on the block. Once, I was catheterized…um…you know…down there…for a brief test. That was fifteen years ago and the thought of letting someone do that to me ever again still makes me whimper.
Anyway, here’s a picture of the Bard button. Just overlook the fact the accompanying article describes its use in a, er, dog. The things you find on the Web…

People with disabilities have never had great representation in popular media. There aren’t many people with disabilities with starring roles in television shows or movies. The experience of people with disabilities in the media probably mirrors the experiences of people of color. For whatever reason, entertainment executives think there isn’t an audience for content that features characters with disabilities. But other identity groups have one advantage that we don’t: they have established niche media markets. Telemundo targets Hispanics. Lifetime and Oxygen target women. Bravo has a lot of gay-themed programming. And then you have all the other niche channels like the Outdoor Network and the Food Network. But people with disabilities are left to observe the media explosion from the sidelines.
I’m working with a few other parties to explore possibilities for creating a disability-focused media outlet. Everything is very preliminary; we’re basically testing the waters to see whether there’s a market for something like this. I think the trick is to create something that doesn’t have too narrow of a focus. Imagine a hypothetical cable channel for people with disabilities. Ideally, the channel should have a variety of programming; drama, comedies, reality shows/documentaries, all of which feature people with disabilities. But the programming should be able to appeal to a general audience as well. The problem with web portals like ICan (which seems to be down right now) is that they never make much efforts to reach a broader audience. If you’re not disabled or closely involved with someone who is disabled, you’ve probably never heard of ICan. But most people know about the Food Channel, even if they never watch it.
What do you think? Is there a market for a disability-themed channel? What kind of programming would you want to see? I don’t know if this concept will go anywhere, but I want to hear your thoughts.

The Bush Administration seems determined to have a debate about Social Security reform. Fine, let’s debate. Here’s one issue I’d like to see discussed. Social Security isn’t just a program for the elderly. When a worker becomes disabled, they become eligible for Social Security benefits. The same goes for children of disabled workers. Other groups that may be eligible for Social Security benefits include:
Spouses of deceased workers
Adult disabled children of deceased workers
Children (under 18) of retirees
The privatization of Social Security would subject all of these groups to the vagaries of the markets. They would no longer be assured of a regular, monthly income to pay for the necessities of life. If the economy takes a sudden downturn, it’s these groups who would be the most vulnerable. A safety net that has existed for seventy years would be gone and with it the stability that it has brought to countless families.
I don’t argue that we should examine ways to reform Social Security. But we first need to recognize that Social Security isn’t something just for the gray-haired set. And we need to have a long, thoughtful debate; not a panicky response to a manufactured crisis. Depending on which estimate you look at, Social Security will be solvent until 2042. My generation, and those following us, will be the ones to pay the price for hasty decisions.
On a separate note, I’m looking for someone to help me install a new hard drive and DVD burner in my system. Free beer, anyone?