Jun 012009
 

We attorneys are often called upon to argue the important issues of the day. The rights of of the individual versus the rights of the state. Guilt and innocence. The intent of the Constitution’s framers. Whether or not Pringles are, in fact, potato chips.

Yes, some poor chap had to argue in front of a British judge that Pringles should be considered “savory snacks” rather than “crisps”, and therefore not subject to taxation. The attorney further argued that Pringles lack a certain essential quality of “potatoness” that ipso facto excludes them from the universe of potato crisps. The judge, being a sensible man, dismissed these specious arguments and ruled that Pringles are indeed potato crisps. Of course, I’d still love Pringles even if they were classified as industrial waste, so the ruling makes little difference to me. But it’s comforting to know that I’ve been stuffing my pie-hole with something that is legally related to an actual plant that grows in the dirt.

May 312009
 

If you need further evidence that the Internet is changing the way we live, check out the Wall Street Journal article on people who manage to get on-line even though they are homeless. Some use inexpensive laptops while others get on-line using computers at libraries or shelters. And some use a little homespun ingenuity:

For Skip Schreiber, 64, an amateur philosopher with wispy white hair
who lives in a van, power is the biggest challenge to staying wired.
Mr. Schreiber tended heating and ventilation systems before
work-related stress and depression sidelined him around 15 years ago,
he says.

For his 60th birthday, he dipped into his monthly disability check
to buy a laptop, connected it to his car battery, and taught himself to
use it. “I liked the concept of the Internet,” says Mr. Schreiber,
“this unlimited source of opinion and thought.”

Keep in mind that the people interviewed for this article live in San Francisco, one of the most wired cities in the world. And I suspect that technological savviness isn’t a skill that most homeless people possess. But computers are only getting cheaper and most major cities will eventually have ubiquitous wireless networks that are dependable and fast. Once getting on-line is as easy as making a phone call (and we’re nearly there already), we’ll probably see more widespread Internet use among the homeless. That may not get them off the streets, but it might make them a little more visible and connected to a society that has largely ignored them.

May 302009
 

Ten years ago this month, I signed up as a Seti@home volunteer. I might have mentioned Seti@home before; it’s a distributed computing project in which volunteers donate idle computer power to process chunks of data from radio telescopes to find potential signals from other civilizations. In that time, according to my account page, my various computers have performed 112.32 quadrillion calculations for the project. Multiply that kind of number-crunching by a couple million volunteers and you have one of the biggest computing projects ever undertaken. In an interview with Science Friday commemorating the project’s ten-year anniversary, one of the lead scientists notes that Seti@home is a success whether or not it pinpoints a signal. If we discover evidence of other civilizations, it will be a profound development in human history. If we eventually realize that we are indeed alone, that will be just as profound.

In the meantime, my computer will continue to crunch the numbers, if for no other reason than that it’s marginally more useful than most of the other things I make it do.

May 292009
 

I heart the internet so much, especially when it combines my love of bad 80s music with my love of MST-style humor. Here’s a slightly tweaked version of the video for Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart”:

That was way better than those lame pop-up videos they used to show on VH1.

May 282009
 

The Elegance of the Hedgehog is, from the very beginning, a quintessentially French novel. It contains weighty meditations on philosophy, the aesthetics of Dutch still life paintings, and the absurdity of life. And it contains the most ridiculously effusive praise for the film The Hunt for Red October that you will ever see in print. The book is a glimpse into the interior lives of two characters who inhabit vastly different strata of French society, but have much in common. Renee is a concierge of a tony apartment building in Paris where she tends to the needs of its upper-class residents, most of whom she detests. Renee possesses a brilliant mind and is a self-taught intellectual, but she is determined to keep her fierce intelligence hidden from view and is content to play the part expected of her: that of the lower-class, poorly educated working stiff. Paloma is a 12-year-old girl living in the same building with her well-to-do but dysfunctional family. Like Renee, she’s bright and perceptive, but she’s quite taken with the idea of setting fire to herself and burning down the apartment in the process.

Renee and Paloma are little more than familiar faces to each other when the book begins, living separate lives and thinking dismal thoughts about most of the people around them. Unbeknownst to both of them, they share a love of Japanese culture and art. And when an elegant, charming Japanese businessman moves into the building, they can barely contain their excitement.

Muriel Barbery writes with wit and compassion; her fondness for these sad, lonely characters is evident on every page. As I was reading it, I kept wondering how an American writer would have written the same story. We seem more inclined to view class as a fluid concept rather than a fixed characteristic, when we acknowledge it all. If Hollywood tried adapting this book, it would probably end with Renee and her Japanese neighbor falling in love and Paloma reconciling with her family. The book’s actual ending is much messier and uncertain, which is as it should be. Perhaps this quote of Renee’s best sums up the tone of the book:

Human longing! We cannot cease desiring, and this is our glory, and our
doom. Desire! It carries us and crucifies us, delivers us every new day
to a battlefield where, on the eve, the battle was lost.

May 272009
 

I missed earlier reports that SCOTUS nominee Sonia Sotomayor has diabetes, although it certainly doesn’t change my opinion that she is eminently qualified for the job. I do find it interesting that her disability (diabetes constitutes an impairment under the ADA) is receiving such scrutiny. Other justices came onto the job with chronic health conditions, but the press was less inclined to disclose those facts to the public. Perhaps the unrestrained public discussion on Sotomayor’s diabetes shows that we can openly acknowledge the disabilities of public figures instead of politely ignoring them. Or we are simply witnessing the consequences of living in the age of Facebook and Twitter, where full disclosure is the behavioral norm.

Incidentally, Sotomayor has presided over some major disability discrimination cases and her written opinions illustrate an admirable resistance to the Rehnquist Court’s efforts to dilute the intent of the ADA.

May 262009
 

My brother lives in the Bay Area, so it was with more than passing interest that I read Paul Krugman’s piece on how California is completely screwed, both economically and politically. California provides a good illustration of the schizophrenic nature of the American body politic. Everybody likes the public and social services that government provides, but nobody wants to pay for them. And so California has deficits that dwarf the actual budgets of many countries. Further complicating matters is the fact that California can’t issue a parking ticket without putting it to a statewide referendum. I’m all for participatory democracy, but we elect state representatives to make decisions about spending and taxes. The people of California need to do some intensive soul-searching about what kind of future they want for themselves and stop looking to former movie stars to solve their problems for them.

May 252009
 

In addition to being Memorial Day, today is also Towel Day. As geeks around the world already know, a towel is one of the most useful multi-purpose tools ever created by sentient hands. According to the seminal Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

[Y]ou can wrap [a towel] around you for warmth as you bound across the cold
moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble sanded
beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep
under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of
Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth;
wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward
off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast
of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t
see it, it can’t see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can
wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry
yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

So before you leave for the beach, barbecue, or anywhere else, be sure to grab a towel. Mine doubles as a seat cover and a coded map to the secret stash where I keep my fake passports, hard currency, and old love letters. And remember: don’t panic!

May 242009
 

A Terminator movie without time travel is a bit like a football game without a touchdown. But this chapter of the 25-year old franchise is a fun ride into the post-apocalyptic future only briefly glimpsed in the previous movies. Those killer robots sure know how to build some badass-looking motorcycles and fighter jets. Christian Bale plays John Connor, who is not yet the leader of the surprisingly well-equipped human resistance (but who is already regarded with a certain amount of reverence for reasons never fully explained). The movie describes how Connor does eventually become that leader, but the story is mostly an excuse for some remarkable chase scenes and plenty of explosions. Sam Worthington, an Australian actor who plays a man with an uncertain past, is quite good and I’m looking forward to seeing him in James Cameron’s Avatar.

I remember reading that this story was supposed to mark the beginning of another trilogy, but I’m not sure audiences are interested in a series of futuristic war movies. Part of the pleasure of Terminator movies is that they offer the spectacle of killer robots wreaking havoc in humdrum present-day society. The movie also suffers from a criminal lack of Summer Glau. As you might guess, I’m still a little bitter that Fox cancelled the Terminator television series.