Once the weather improves, the space shuttle Atlantis will return to Earth after successfully completing its mission to repair the Hubble telescope. Let’s take a moment to marvel at the mind-boggling coolness of this accomplishment. A group of people blasted off on a rocket, orchestrated a carefully calculated ballet of physics to chase down an object moving at thousands of miles per hour, plucked it out of space with a robotic arm, gave it a tune-up while working in the vacuum of space, and then returned said object to its usual orbit. A million things could have gone wrong, but somehow, everything went as planned.

Humans can fuck up on a grand scale, but sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

By nature, I’m a pretty self-deprecating person. I’m constantly poking fun at myself, both in the confines of this blog and in the presence of friends and strangers alike. And I’ve tried to use it as a means to make myself seem more attractive to women. It usually seemed like an effective way to acknowledge all my oddities while also communicating that I’m generally comfortable with who I am. A new study on self-deprecatory humor confirms that it can enhance one’s attractiveness, but there’s a catch. It only works if the person mocking himself or herself already has a high social status. Here’s the conclusion of the study’s authors:

Thus, the the use of self-deprecating humor by low-status individuals
may be counter-productive, suggesting depression, defeatism,
subordination, low self-esteem, and/or low mate value. On the other
hand, if an individual has achieved high social status, they are
unlikely to have truly low conscientiousness, extraversion, or
emotional stability, and they must show reasonable agreeableness often
enough to make friends and win support. Thus, self-deprecating humor
may be a way of transiently faking inferior personally traits, to
highlight the discrepancy between the faked traits (e.g., introversion,
neuroticism) and the traits actually required to win high status.

Well, that explains why my charm offensive hasn’t met with much success over the years. I haven’t achieved a sufficient level of coolness to counteract all my self-mocking. Instead, I’ve only succeeded in confirming everyone’s impression that I am, without a doubt, a huge dork.

This calls for drastic measures. Maybe I should try emulating the strong, silent type.

Well, without the whole “strong” part.

Aaargh, there I go again. I can’t help myself.

Plenty of local political pundits are trying to predict how the failure of the Legislature and governor to agree on a budget (Doug Grow has a terrific article in MinnPost describing the end-of-session collapse) will affect the next round of state elections. Probably not much. November 2010 is in the distant future, politically speaking, and most voters have short memories. As long as kids aren’t packed into classrooms like tuna fish and people aren’t dying en masse in emergency rooms, the vast majority of people won’t give much thought to the deep cuts that Pawlenty plans on making in the next few weeks. And even if they do notice, it won’t be Pawlenty’s problem. He’s burnishing his conservative credentials for a presidential run.

The DFL got outplayed. They were planning on doing the hard negotiating during a special session, but the governor changed the rules, making them look irrelevant and confused. There’s still a chance they might be able to undo some of the cuts during the next session, but for right now, it’s Tim Pawlenty’s world and we’re just living in it.

And so ends my last entry on the 2009 legislative session. Time to shift my blogging attentions to the more pleasant things in life, like comic books and women in summer dresses.

The Minnesota House of Representatives is currently debating an override of Pawlenty’s veto of General Assistance Medical Care. GAMC is a state-funded health care program that serves people living in extreme poverty–approximately $7,000/year. Pawlenty cut funding for GAMC in an effort to close the budget gap. It’s one of the more dramatic debates I’ve seen on the House floor. The scripture quotations are flying fast and furious. Democrats are citing the Gospel of Matthew (“whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me”). A Republican just responded by quoting Jesus (“the poor will always be with you”).

I’m not sure Democrats have the votes to override, but it’s clear they are pushing hard on the moderate suburban Republicans who probably have a significant number of constituents on GAMC. When this session began, everyone knew health care would dominate the discussion. That the Legislature is still debating health care in these final hours is probably fitting.

It’s Friday. I’ve got that end-of-the-week-tired feeling, but in a good way. And I have my music.

“Walking on a Dream” by Empire of the Sun: This song’s falsetto chorus sounds like late-night MTV from the mid-Eighties, but I can’t put my finger on exactly what it reminds me of. Maybe Blue Nile mixed with Fine Young Cannibals. And if you’re under 25, those band references will probably mean nothing to you. Get thee to Wikipedia.

“DC Comics and Chocolate Milkshake” by Art Brut: Art Brut’s particular style of not-singing appeals to me. If you ever heard me sing (and you won’t), you’d understand why. This paean to never completely growing up and pretty girls in comic book shops is the new official anthem of The 19th Floor. And it reminds me that I’m overdue for a visit to Sebastien Joe’s.

“Talk to Me” by Peaches: This song packs a funky punch, even though not once does Peaches say “fuck” or reference her genitalia. This might disappoint old-school fans, but even a clean-mouthed Peaches makes me feel oh-so-dirty.